Here For You
by WolvesRcool
Summary: Oneshot.Kendall has had a crush on Carlos for a long time.When Carlos tells him how he feels, James is there for him. Slash,


A/N: I wrote this a little while ago and I have decided to post it. Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush.

~~X~~ (Kendall's POV)

I was sitting on the couch. A hockey game was on, but I wasn't paying it any attention to it. I wasn't in the mood to watch it. In fact, I wasn't really in the mood to do anything.

Today was the day.

The day I had my heart broken.

Just thinking about it made me relive the moment, the pain. My heart had never really recovered from it. I tried, I really did, but it was just so hard to forget. I was never able to forget and it has haunted me for three years.

The pain wasn't even the worst part. The absolute worst part is that I never got over him.

~~ (Flashback-3 years ago) ~~

It was a bright sunny day, and I was sitting in my room. I was thinking about the possibility of me telling Carlos that I had a crush on him. The crush had been going on for a while, but I was never able to get past the fear of rejection.

I couldn't live with him not knowing, I needed to tell him. I was done being afraid of what could happen. If I was lucky he might, by some miracle, like me back.

I smiled as I continued to remain positive about the situation. I walked out of my room and continued to build up my courage as I walked the steps. I walked out of the front door and straight down the street. As I made my way to Carlos' house I hoped that he would take the news well.

It wasn't long before I arrived at his house. His dad answered the door after I had knocked. "Hey Kendall, are you here for Carlos?" I nodded and said hi, feeling slightly nervous about what I was about to do.

Once he let me in I made my way up their steps without being told, I had been here many times before this. I walked to his room and cracked the door to see if he was sleeping. I peeked inside and what I saw made me wish he was sleeping.

This couldn't be happening. It was just a cruel trick, a sick joke. He had tripped and fell onto Carlos, it was an accident. I knew I was lying to myself, I knew this wasn't a trick or a joke. He hadn't tripped; this was no accident, no matter how much I wished for it to be.

They were both eagerly participating and it was consensual.

Logan was on top of Carlos and they both seemed to be enjoying the kiss. I felt betrayed by Logan but I knew that this wasn't his fault. He didn't know about my crush so I couldn't be mad at him.

I hastily shut the door as I felt the tears start. I couldn't get them to stop, no matter how hard I tried. I ran as fast as I could out of the house. I didn't stop when I made it out and I let my tears blur my vision. When I reached my house I went straight to my room. I cried for what seemed like hours until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong, Kendall?"

It was James, my best friend. He knew about my crush on Carlos and he even encouraged me to tell him. He was one of the reasons I had decided to confess my feelings. I sat up and pulled my knees too my chest. "Carlos and Logan are together." I mumbled out.

"What?" he asked. I could hear the shock in his voice and I could see it on his face. I simply sighed and gave him a defeated look. "I went to tell Carlos how I felt about him and I saw them. They were kissing in his room."

"Maybe it just looked like that to you. Maybe they weren't actually kissing." James tried to justify it but I just shook my head. "I know what I saw. They were kissing and it wasn't forced or fake." I countered. He didn't say anything for a while and he looked like he was still trying to process it all.

I didn't bother him while he was thinking. When he was done he came and sat next to me. He leaned his head onto my shoulder and said, "It will be ok. I'll always be here for you." To anyone else, it might not have seemed like much, but to me, it meant the world. I enjoyed sitting there with him, in comfortable silence.

~~ (Flashback End) ~~

"What's wrong?" No. I knew that voice.

"What?" I asked. He stared at me more intently.

"What's wrong?" Carlos asked again. "Nothing." I said with a fake smile, hoping that he would leave. No such luck.

"Are you crying?" His voice was laced with concern. I reached my hand up to my face and felt a single tear. Damn. I turned away from him and muttered, "I'm fine." He moved so that we could be eye to eye and spoke softly. "I don't think you are."

Maybe it was the way his eyes held so much concerned, or maybe it was because I hadn't gotten over that crush. Hell, maybe I had finally gone insane but I kissed him. It didn't last long and I pulled away once I realized what I had done.

Carlos was shocked, too say the least. I was about to apologize when he began talking. "Kendall I…I don't know what to say but I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about you. I'm with Logan and we're happy, please don't ruin that."

Carlos and Logan were still together and I had no right to ruin their relationship with my own feelings. They were both my friends. Even if Carlos did like me I wouldn't be able to hurt Logan like that. They loved each other and that was stronger than my silly crush on him.

I sighed, "I understand. I'm sorry for kissing you." After I had apologized I jumped up and went straight to the room I shared with James. He was lying on his bed when I entered. I walked over and sat on my bed while James gave me a curious glance.

James was always good at seeing through the facades I put up. I wasn't surprised when he asked me what happened. I looked at him and began the short story. "I kissed Carlos." James' reaction was immediate. "What, why?" I shrugged, "He was so close and I haven't gotten over my crush. I couldn't help it."

I paused before continuing, "He told me that he didn't feel that way about me."

"Are you alright?" he asked. "I don't know. I guess so," I shrugged again, "I just wish that I could get over this crush. I wish I could forget it." James looked like he was trying to make a quick decision. I saw the conflicted emotions in his eyes and I wondered what was wrong.

"James?" he didn't answer me when I called his name. Instead, he got up and made his way over to me. He sat on the left side of me and leaned forward enough so that our lips almost touched. "Do you trust me?" he asked. I was I was confused but I nodded anyway. "Then let me help you forget." He replied.

With that James leaned forward and connected our lips. I was surprised but he ignored it and continued to kiss me. He started to crawl on top of me and I let him. He pulled away for a second to say, "Don't fight it," I didn't.

I leaned forward slightly because I was now laying completely on the bed. James' chest was pressed against mine and his arms were wrapped around my neck. I wrapped my own arms around his waist and slowly stuck my tongue out to meet his.

My tongue slipped inside of his hot mouth and it felt so good. James moaned as I rubbed my tongue against his. He slowly pulled back, panting. We stared at each other. I stared into his eyes and he stared into mine. I didn't know what to say. My best friend had just kissed me and I liked it.

"I'm sorry." James said as he began to get off of me. I didn't let him go that easily. "Why?" I asked, tightening my hold on him. What was there to be sorry for? "I shouldn't have kissed you. You're still hurt over Carlos, and it wasn't right for me to take advantage of you like that."

"Take advantage of me?" I repeated then laughed. I could tell that he was confused so I started to explain. "You are not taking advantage of me James. I'm fine with what happened with Carlos. I liked the kiss and I would like another one." I leaned up for one and he pulled away.

"Are you sure?" he asked. I smirked. "I'm sure, now kiss me." He smiled and leaned down to meet me for another breathtaking kiss. When we pulled away he asked me another question, one that I hadn't been expecting. "So, does this mean that we are together?" he asked with an imploring gaze.

"Only if you want to be." I responded. James nodded. "I want to." We both smiled as we went back to our passionate kiss. James is my best friend and now he is my boyfriend too. With his help I can get over Carlos. With those thoughts in mind I focus on the kiss we are sharing.

James pulled away from the kiss. "I'll always be here for you." I smiled at the familiar words. I knew that it was true and I couldn't have been happier.


End file.
